I have realized it’s time to date again. I hate dating. I like being in a relationship, but the thought of dating, drains me. But I hate being alone more. Dating as a single woman is almost as hard as dating as a single mom. This is my experience. I do have time to date on weekends and a night during the week because of A.’s visitation schedule. Yes, comments I have received are, ‘it should be easier since you have extra time on your hands.’ Should be? It’s extra time that I don’t want. It’s time away from her that I didn’t ask for.
But that’s for another blog. Back to the subject. I hate dating. It’s like going on a job interview.
- What’s your qualifications for being my significant other? What are your hobbies and interest? Do you like small children? (Still a mom here.) Do you dress casual or dressy? And why am I going if we are just going to hang out?
I have a rule that I have to wear shoes I can run in, always drive my car and someone needs to know who I’m with and where we plan on going. Sadly, there are too many stories of women going missing for there not to be precautions.
I decided to put myself on a dating app as a starter. Within 10 hours I had 14 messages. It was a little over whelming. I didn’t use any pictures that had my daughter (too many creepers) and I keep the bio about myself with a mention that I am a mom. Personally, I want someone to get to know me and what I’m into before I dive into my mom life. I have even messaged someone, and that was nerve raking. It felt like I was being rejected even before I said hello. Like what if he doesn’t respond? That’s okay, but what’s not okay is being unmatched because I said hello. Past experiences made this true. (He still hasn’t responded in case anyone was curious.)
I miss conversations about current events with another adult, past adventures with friends, about cities we still want to visit or our favorite places to go. When Netflix and Chill means to actually chill, just laying in bed watching a movie and talking.
Dating gets harder the older I get. I’m 32, not 22. I have to compete with younger women who can come and go as they want with their pre-baby bodies. I can’t do that. I’ve been lucky in the past with the couple relationships I were in that knew A. was almost always by my side. But the older I get the harder it seems to get to find that one person I was meant to be with. Please do not take this as a pity party. I know swiping left or right probably won’t get me where I was meant to be, but just maybe, just maybe, it will point me in the direction I need to go.
So if one of these 14 messages lands me a date, you better believe I will share that experience. But for now, with me luck!