Before I start this blog, let me say I am very happy for my married friends. I’m not a jealous person, so this isn’t about that. This is about my timeline that I had planned out when I was 20. What the hell happened?!
I had a plan.
- Start my career by 23.
- Get married by 25.
- Have 3-4 children by 30.
- Own our home with no mortgage by 45.
Yes. I was a naïve 20-year-old, 3rd year college student.
None of this has happened. I’m a 32-year-old single woman with a child who lives in an apartment.
I had this planned. Clearly, I was wrong.
I came to terms of being comfortable with being single, about 2 years ago. I have dated. I have had short-term relationships. But I haven’t found the one person to tolerate my sarcastic nature. I’m very pretty, so clearly it’s my personality 🙂
Don’t get me wrong, a blind person could have seen the engagement coming. But when my single friends are now down to one hand; one really is a lonely number.
Trust me, I’ve been approached at bars, swiped left and right, Netflix and Chilled, and had friends believe they can play match maker. If just hasn’t come together for me. I’m always the 3rd, 5th or 7th wheel (I need to stop going out in groups.) In fact, a couple of weeks ago, the band that was playing, played a slow song as the last song of the night and I sat at a table by myself. It was awkward to get up and leave since I was obviously just sitting there. I couldn’t stare at the couples (one of which was an ex and his girlfriend), so I just sat there with the feeling of pathetic-ness. I’m generally the kind of girl who can sit back, drink a beer and join any conversation. But this was just awkward as hell.
And eventually, you’ll realize you’re being “squeezed in” on weekends and week nights while while your girlfriends save the majority amount of time for their significant others. That they will schedule you in when they have time, not if you do as well. But you can’t blame them. Bitterness causes premature wrinkles (okay, most likely not, but no one likes a bitter person.)
Your friends will move on with and without you. You will grow more independent. Some days you’ll be super positive that today will the day, and other days will consist of wine; lots of wine. There will be good and bad dates that will remind your friends that they are lucky (and if they can NOT mention it, that’ll be grand.) But they will make good stories.
So to the single ladies, just know, dating sucks, but we have to do it to find our prince in a sea of frogs!