Loneliness

I’ve been by myself since last Friday. Besides work, I have no one to talk to. My apartment has been quiet. Honestly, I haven’t said one word since I left work. No one to talk to. 

I miss her. I would take the random coversations over the quiet anytime. 

I have had people say, ‘it must be nice to get a break every once in a while.’ 

Are you f’n kidding?! I would give anything to have her with me 7 days in a row. All the time. 

Or say, ‘I wish I had a break.” Cool. Here let me help you. Take your child, drop them off with someone. Now, don’t talk to them for 3 days. Or, talk to them for, maybe, 3 minutes but you can’t hug or kiss them. Then tell me how great my break, or me time really feels like. 

Loneliness finally kick in a day ago. It’s a sad feeling. Almost isolating. 

I realized I have no one to help fill the loneliness. I am an independant person. We were raised to depend on no one.  Bit were never prepared for being by ourselves for this long.

I can look around the room I’m in, and see nothing. No one to talk to, no presence to fill the room up with warmth. Just a cold room that I sit in. Just waiting for time to pass. 

I am really trying to talk to men and trying to find that connection. But it’s just not happening. Which is why this feeling hirts a little. I can be sad. I’ll get over that with a good cry, but you can’t fill loneliness with nothing. 

T-minus 2 days until she’s home and I can wrap my arms around her and hold on tight! It truly flies by fast, especially when you only get half their time. 

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